Rice Preparation

1. The secret to the truly demonic flavor of sushi rice lies in three spell reagents…salt, sugar, and vinegar. In the enchanted pot you shall see about how much sugar and salt the spirits use for one cup of rice and two cups of water. Use whatever sugar you wish to sacrifice.

2. Follow this magic formula for the jasmine or sushi rice: the ancient alchemists once said, “Use twice as much water as rice.” These were truly wise mystics, as the formula will yield perfection, even to this day. After adding the water and rice, give the entire compound a quick pour or two of vinegar. Some people flip and worry endlessly about the type of vinegar. Just get some plain-ass white vinegar in there. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low. The rice is summoned to this realm when all water is absorbed. Remove from the heat and pour into a sacred bowl. You can let it cool, but that takes too fucking long…just keep going.

Before you get into 100,000 types of different sushi…you must learn the ancient rolling ways.

3. Prepare your bamboo mat upon your altar of sacrifice. Lay the nori sheet upon it in the traditional way. Wet your hands and cast the spell of dampness upon the nori by lightly rubbing your moist hands on the surface. Spread a thin layer of sushi rice atop the nori by any means possible.

4. Fill with the various innards of your sacrifice.

5. Begin the rolling process by curling the rice and nori over your layer of innards. This is where you have to stop, and while keeping the nori rolled over the filling, pull the bit of bamboo mat from under your finger back so you can roll the rest of it. Proceed to finish rolling the sushi the normal way that makes sense. This is not difficult…just try it and make it happen.